Faith

Having faith that things will work out is easy for me . . . . usually.

Today my morning went from frustrated that someone's aunt and uncle were late picking him up, thereby making me late for church, to enjoying church and having a great lesson and feeling uplifted to having my daughter walk in to tell me that K had texted her to ask for prayers for her daddy.

Her daddy has been my good friend since my junior year in high school- 27 years! He is married to my Best Friend since 7th grade- I can't count that high ;) [31 yrs]. We have had our kids close together. Monkey Wrench and their oldest S are 4 days shy of being 2 months apart and Tree Monkey and their 3rd child are 5 weeks apart. Sassy and their 2nd oldest K are 16 months apart with their kids all being older than mine by those differences. We have Oldest (21) and they have little Joe (9)that are not part of the close in age routine. Our children have grown up together, played together, and now text each other.

Our families are close and the love shared goes beyond friendship. We love each other as deeply as family.

When I got home I called B. She said that he had been feeling dizzy and that he had passed out last night. The top part of the heart had been working harder than the bottom part due to the electrical impulses not communicating right. Over night his lungs have filled with fluid so they were just going to put a temporary pace maker in until the fluid went down. He was in surgery when we talked.

She called me after surgery. Crying. He is not doing well. The fluid is VERY bad. The odds are 50/50. I went up to be with their kids and then we went to the hospital. I was acting as friend and social worker. I cried all the way home.

As I saw R laying in the ICU bed with tubes and wires I came to the realization that I could be looking at my husband. We all are only 42!!! And R turned 42 in September. Seeing what my best friend was feeling hits hard. I stayed strong and held a lot back. They do not need to be comforting me. This is her husband, their daddy, their brother, son, uncle lying there. I cried all the way home. My chest hurt from holding it in. It felt good to let it out.

He is a sheriff's deputy. He runs the DARE program at several school. To know him is to love him. He is a fun guy that likes to play pranks and tease kids in good fun. He doesn't hurt others in his teasing. He does it in love. He did the Brides Dance at Oldest and Frog's wedding reception. He and K did the video that played.

I know that medical technology is advanced and can work miracles. I know God works miracles. He received a blessing of health from his Priest and the Elders of the LDS church administered a blessing. We are praying and I am fasting tomorrow. We are covering all bases. If it is God's will he will be healed and stay here with us.

Here is where I struggle. I am not struggling with my faith. I am struggling because "I DON'T WANT HIM TO NOT BE HERE!" What if it is part of God's plan to take him? His children and wife are not ready for that. Yes they will be okay. They will make it through. We will be there for them and with them. I still want him here and they want him here more.

I am not above begging, so will you all please add the Lopez family to your prayers? This husband, daddy, son, brother, uncle, friend, coworker needs our prayers. If we all pray then I can be sure that we will have done all we can.

Thank you all.