The Story of Grammie and Pap

In 9th grade my dad decided that the grass was greener in Salt Lake County. The rest of us never agreed. We moved to Sandy Utah and I went to Jordan High School- when it was where the Jordan Commons is now. I do have some good memories and I also have some trauma.

It was a tough year. I didn't know anyone. I was in band and this guy, who was a senior, was nice to everyone. He became my friend and big brother. He told everyone I was his little sister and he took me under his wing. His mom was our band mom and everyone called her Momma Ray. They still do. Grammie is Momma Ray and Pap is her husband. Larry was a clarinet player, a sax player, and I think something else. He was good. They adopted him as they couldn't have children and he was their only child.

In February of 1982 Larry was walking home from work that was about 2 blocks away from his home. He was jumped and murdered for his letterman's jacket and his class ring. For drug money. I had the flu when he went missing. It was awful to be so sick and not be able to help find him. (There is more to this story that I will tell in person, but still don't like to talk about in person and will not be posting here. Sorry)

They found him in an old abandoned building just a block from home. I remember the first day back at school following his funeral. I made it through first period before I called my mom and told her I just couldn't do it yet.

His mom and dad became part of my family. My parents would take me up to visit them and to give them Christmas and birthday gifts. When I was pregnant with my first child, she came bearing gifts saying she get grand children if she had to buy them. I assured her that my children would be her grandchildren no matter what!

Grammie and Pap played on the swings and slide at their home with my kids. They give matching towels and wash cloths every Christmas with a sweat outfit or jacket. Grammie always finds the fun things to go with the gifts and the kids look forward to going up each year to see them.

They aren't tall in heighth but in my kids eyes and my eyes they are larger than life. They have always been there. Always loving and always with hugs. Lots of hugs.

The last 7 years Pap's health has been failing. He has struggled with prostate cancer, a stroke, and other ailments. Grammie has fallen and broken her elbow and has had colds or flus that have kept her down. Pap has known that he had bad health and let us know that he loved us, but that he wouldn't be around forever. When he fell last Saturday Grammie knew she had to get him to the hospital. He didn't want to go. When he got there it was discovered that he had pneumonia. They thought they saw spots on the x-rays, but weren't sure if it was cancer or the pneumonia. Turns out that his cancer had returned, metastisized and was everywhere.

The last time he talked to me was Tuesday. He told me he had pneumonia and that he hated his oxygen mask. He was so frail and fragile looking that I hugged him gently. I was afraid I might break him. We watched as his body struggled to breathe yesterday. Mostly a reflex response from the brain telling the body to breathe. We told him goodbye. We told him we loved him and would miss him. As he held on I asked him why do you stay in the broken old body? Go be free and see Larry and your mom and sister. We will be fine and we will see you again later. Most of all I told him that I loved him. I was so grateful that my kids had him for a grandpa and that he had touched their lives.

I really thought that I would cry as I wrote this. I am not. My heart is full of love for this man and his being in our lives. He is shorter than I am, but his effect has been big in good ways in our lives.

Go Pap! Go fishing and enjoy your freedom from the bounds of the mortal body and the weaknesses it is subject to.

I love you.