To Be Offended or Not. . . . That Is A Choice

I was reading my friends' blogs and one posted about how she offended someone and now they won't talk to her. This lady is a very sweet lady. When I first met her I felt as thought I'd known her forever. She makes you feel right at home. She makes you laugh. She is sincere, hangs with dead people (in the cemetery for genealogy work), has a smile that brightens your day.

As I'm reading her post and reading about how she didn't mean to offend and how she is hurting because the person took it as an offense. She is truly a sweet sister that would not hurt another intentionally.

So this got me thinking. People have CHOSEN to be offended by my words. The frustrating part is when they get offended when I am speaking the truth, quoting a prophet or religious leader, or even just talking about something. Many times I was just commenting to someone when another has decided that I was offending them or speaking of them.

Over the years I have learned that those who get offended are usually feeling guilty about themselves. What was said was taken and personalized and then the offended party CHOSE to be offended.

No one can offend you without your permission. You have to decide that you are going to be offended and then put the energy into feeling negative towards another. People will be people and they will say things that you are not going to agree with. You can CHOOSE to not be offended and put your energy into improving your own life.

I have been in situations where some will take the word of the one CHOOSING to be offended and decide that they know what happened. Unfortunately those CHOOSING to be offended are not completely honest. They twist the story to make themselves look like a victim and then use that to justify their offense and their other actions (like not talking to someone or spreading gossip, or just plain lying about your part in the whole thing).

I don't have the energy for all that hateful energy. I need all my good energy to just fulfill all the tasks that the Lord has for me. Like doing therapy, having foster children, serving in my church, studying my scriptures, reading good books, etc.

I don't understand how others have time to be bitter. Surely there is more to do in life than sit and fester hate and bitterness toward another. Haven't we all done things that have offended others when we didn't mean to? The bitterness and animosity that is carried is reflected in the countenance of thee one holding the grudge. It weighs them down, not the one they CHOSE to be offended by.

I know I am not easily offended. I have decided that I will CHOOSE to not be offended. Because it is a CHOICE. I am sure that this post will offend someone. I just hope that they will heed the words here and CHOOSE another CHOICE.

Jesus said to love everyone. If you can't love them when you have frequent contact then pull back. Negative feelings hurt you more than the one that you are bitter towards or claim to be offended by. This is isn't easy and can be misunderstood. Hard because you have to make a decision as what you will CHOOSE to do and misunderstood because some will accuse you of being the grudge holder. No matter what they say, if it's not true they can't make it true. It is more peaceful than the hurtful feelings you feel by actions of another. Also, you can try to understand them and realize why they may be saying or doing things that feel offensive. It doesn't mean that you have to condone their behavior. Just understand where it comes from and leave it. Do not take it on. Do not CHOOSE to be offended.

This is not a suggestion to accept an abusive situation. Abuse is NEVER okay. When you find yourself in that situation get out as quickly as you can. Get help if you need to.

What I am saying is that it's much better, more fulfilling to not take offense at what someone says. It is your CHOICE.