Backwards

I have a new ear piece. For the cell phone. Those who know me know that I am known for my removable schizophrenia ;)

I wear it in my right ear.
It hurts my ear sometimes.
I move it to my left ear.
I need my hands free to do everything else that I do when I am also on the phone.

When it is in my left ear I cannot type. I can't. It feels like I am trying to do everything backwards.

Apparently I am not hearing ambidextrous. 

I just thought you would want to know this crazy thing about me.

Ever wish you could go back in time and change just one action?

In all the craziness of the last several weeks month- I have gotten tired, grumpy, and frustrated with some things at my daughter's dance studio.

We pay A LOT of money each month and then we add costumes, studio apparel, travel for competitions etc. My girls have been dealing with an instructor that is not there very much of the time. The class assistant has a difficult time teaching the girls what the main teacher wants them to know. This is because the main teacher can't keep her choreography straight AND she is absent so much that no one can check in with her to make certain.

Some parents have emailed and complained to the main teacher about how the dances look. Her response was to yell at the girls at the next class about how poor they were doing. She isn't thinking about how difficult it is to read her mind.

She is a 4.0 college student on the touring ballroom team. This is not easy when it's all you do and this past December she got married. I really think that she had too much on her plate. I expect people to be responsible and let the employer know when it's too much.

So here's how this breaks down in my brain:

• Since the teacher only gets paid when she is there and there is rarely a substitute covering where is my money going that is supposed to pay for said instructor?
• If the studio owner knows that this is a problem why isn't she doing something about it?
• She knows the teacher isn't there, she doesn't cover, she just pockets the money for my girls and their teammates to practice what they think the teacher wants them to do. Why?

We go to competitions and the studio owner decides, while watching the girls warm up and run through their dances that she doesn't like how it looks. AT COMPETITION!!!! Then she changes it up and confuses the girls.

Saturday rolls around. I am sitting with some other moms and listening to them express the same frustrations that I am having. Discussing how this was a problem LAST YEAR- yet nothing was changed. My girls come out and are sitting by me in between numbers with some other team mates. They are frustrated with her complaining about their dance. They don't even want to go back to run through.

So I let them sit by me and ignore the ballet teacher's mom who is being nasty about everything. (She apparently gets really Type A at competitions). I didn't even know who she was until yesterday.


Then I did a really dumb thing, that seemed like what needed to happen at the time.

So let me set the stage:
Several girls struggling to even want to perform, parents expressing frustration, and a teacher strutting around like she is great, but hasn't shown up to any competitions until now!

I wrote a note saying that her attitude was not helping the girls and to build them up or shut up. Then I wrote that their poor performance was a reflection on her absence at classes, not their lack of skill or practicing.

The ballet instructor talked to me about how my timing was poor form. After thinking about it over night, I agree. I should have worded it a bit softer, too.

I am not proud that I reacted to all the stress and frustration that was around me. I do think that she needs to know that we notice her absence and are not going to stand for her berating our daughters for not being able to do what she envisions when she isn't there to help them see it.

The irony:

• The number she was frustrated and complaining about took 1st place. The one that my girls & others didn't run through took 4th- with the girls that did do the run through not knowing their moves as well as those who watched the company team perform.

None of that excuses my behavior. Certainly not my finest moment.

Keeping It Real

Today I went here. She sent me here. I totally agree with just about everything they wrote. Meaning that it's the same for me, too.

I decided that after all the crap this week has brought (Foster son, Jaguar-had for over a year-freaked out when he realized how close he was to being on his own. He ran and has used drugs again and is sabotaging his progress) I am ready for some real that doesn't involve drama.

So let me share with you the real me.

** I find a good head-banging song to be rejuvenating. Back in Black by AC/DC is one of my all time faves. I never tire of that song. Poison is also a favorite band of mine. I like their big hair look. It brings back some amazing memories. And to make you all think I will now reveal "our song" for all the internets to read.
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Turbo Lover by Judeas Priest. It's awesome. It really doesn't describe us now, but . . . well, you know how newlyweds are.

** I have a very angry side when it comes to perpetrators of abuse. This side generally (and shamefully) comes out with language that would make a sailor smile. I have NO tolerance for bullies and I am VERY vocal about it when I see it. (Can you just picture this short, fat woman chastising a big child or spouse abuser? It happens.)

** There are words I hate to hear. The F-word is one. I won't put (or keep if unknowingly put on) any songs on my iPod that contain that word. When a client says it in session it rarely phases me, but outside of the office I.don't.want.to.hear.THAT.word! It is not a word that comes out in the above disclosure. I don't like to hear it in movies either. It ruins some really great shows.

** I do not like talk radio. Regardless of my political preference I don't want to hear the contentious arguing being spewed across the airways. My brother thinks that I need to listen to get a handle on the issues, but I know God is in charge. He has a plan. No amount of arguing is going to change that. I also get annoyed that people have nothing better to do than call in and argue with the radio talk show host whose point of view they do not agree with. REALLY people? You've got nothing better to do than argue with someone? If you don't agree with them, don't listen to them. Get off your butt and GO BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!!! (That's a quote from Ghandi)

**  I like to drive fast. People who don't annoy me. I think it's related to having to get kids to places in short amounts of time.

** I love religious diversity. Learning about other religions is fascinating to me.

** I do not like going to the movie theatre for most movies. I prefer my living room. That way I can have my light butter popcorn and it won't cost me a fortune. I also like to spell theatre the French way ;)

** I love my big house, but really want to trade it for a smaller one in my same ward. This means not doing foster care, but today, I'm not sure I want to. Seeing the efforts of a year trashed is hard for me. It doesn't matter that I understand it all, it is just hard to see the decline. (This will likely change when things settle down.

** I do not like shopping for clothes. Household stuff? Yes. Kitchen stuff? Yes. Clothes? No.thank.you. Take Sassy or my mom along for that. They are good at it, too.

Join in if you wish. Post your own keeping it real.