Ever wonder what a day at work looks like for me?

WARNING!!! POST CONTAINS SARCASM. . . please don't interpret this as me being calloused. I really do see the cry for help. I just need some humor for coping skills some days.

In my job I file petitions of ungovernability that bring kids under court jurisdiction to get treatment. It is the least invasive way to help children and allows them to stay in their home with their families. Most kids have many delinquent behaviors that are causing them and their families much trouble. All of my cases come to me through a multi agency staffing. We call this MAS. I attend MAS every Tuesday and I'm not even Catholic ha ha ha ha. Sometimes I crack myself up.

(This is all the background you get. Sorry)

These sayings posted here were in my head may or may not have actually come out of my mouth.

I show up for court and the kid comes in with his parents. I start to introduce myself and he informs me up front that he doesn't have a problem and doesn't need or want my help.

Me: Well alrighty then, Ill just let the judge know that I made a mistake and we'll see if he will dismiss the petition. Appreciate your honesty.

Kid: I want an attorney. Can I have an attorney?

Me: Yes. You have the right to an attorney and if your parents qualify you may qualify for a public defender. Are you planning to deny the accusations that I have listed here?

Kid: What are they?

Me: Running away, threatening your dad and then attacking him, holding a knife to your own throat, overdosing on your psychotropic meds and then lying about it, hostility to authority figures, and on and on.

Kid: No, but I want an attorney because I think the punishment should fit the crime and coming into your porgram is unfair and over the top.

Me: Entering treatment where you get groups to teach you agression replacement tactics and get individual and family therapy is to strict for threatening and attacking people?

Kid: Yes. No one is going to control me, but me.

Me: That is true and you've done a fine job of that yourself. I agree with you. The punishment should fit the crime. I will let the judge know that you want that and I will let him decide what is fair.

Kid: My parents abuse me by making me take medication for bipolar disorder.

Me: You think that might be to keep them safe and to keep you from beating up on your brother and sister?

Kid: No. I want to be emancipated.

Me: Can you take care of yourself?

Kid: Yes. I have two condos in Hawaii and 7 kids. (He's 15)

Me: I see. I think your parents have you on the wrong medication.

Kid: I told you. I don't need medication.

Me: You need a medication for delusions and hallucinations.

He shut up.

Mom and dad snickered.

He told his mom to go eff herself. She didn't know what to say. My reply was, "Well, I'm not really into masturbation, although I realize that some people are. I just don't like the whole thing of have sex with yourself." Mom and dad laughed and took notes. Kid did not find any humor in my words.

Come on. give a little. That was funny, kid.

He was ordered into the pr0gram and after court I orient them to the program.

Me: Do I have a commitment from you that you will follow through with the requirements?

Kid: I don't have a choice.

Me: You have all the choice. You simply do not get to choose your consequences.

Kid: You choose the consequences by the choice you make.

Me: You and I are going to get a long just fine.

Kid: No we aren't.

Me: Ok. We won't.

I begin to go over the specifics of the program.

Kid: I am not going to do that.

Me: Ok. You don't have to.

Kid: You won't make me?

Me: Nope. I will file and order to show cause though and you can tell your judge why you didn't follow his orders.

Kid: Whatever. I don't care.

(Kid is holding his head in hands and crying.)

The same kid that glared at me before court wouldn't look at the judge and then wouldn't look at me following court because I was right.

Gotta admit- from his point of view that really does suck.

And after court-

**Today while Monkey Wrench was supposed to be watching Wiggly Worm he took a work bench table apart. Wiggly Worm did that. He got into Monkey Wrench's tools to find the right tools for the job.

Monkey Wrench is all bent out of shape. I am laughing my butt off. Not just because of this post, but because Monkey Wrench gets in to hubs tools all the time. He rarely puts them back. He loses them. Hubs finally locked them up - about time, too.

He insisted he was watching Wiggly Worm.

Really? At some point you weren't because he took the table/work bench apart. That takes some time.

Monkey Wrench had him put it back together. Hubs will let him take it apart again because it's been out in the weather and is not very stable now. Monkey Wrench is not thrilled that we find humor in the fact that Wiggly Worm took a table apart and that frustrated him. Why son? because he didn't play in the dirt like you wanted him to? Because he is just like you were at age 4-14? Because he got into YOUR tools? Or is it because you got busted not watching the little dude like you were asked to and now you look bad?

Can't blame it on the little dude.

Anyone else see the humor and irony in this?

***(Note: Wiggly Worm is almost 8 (in August), but he was badly neglected in his first 4 1/2 years and is the size and development of a 4 year old.)