Well......Hello again!

So I changed jobs. Yeah and kept a few clients from the old one AND do a few clients in private practice. So I pretty much work 6 days a week. But when I get home I spend time holding my granddaughter, go to the gym with my daughters, have engaged in some retail therapy (to motivate me to continue attending the gym regularly) and just take time to breathe. I am hardly ever on the computer for fun anymore. I am busy, but it is great!

The girls had their dance recital and rocked it. Sassy did a lot of work and presented a teacher who is leaving to follow her husband to grad school (silly girl, what is she thinking leaving us?) with some sweats and a t-shirt that matched the two teams that she worked with to show how much she loves her. The other team girls were great to pay their part so that this could all be done. We will really miss her great skill and choreography. Sassy is affectionately known as "the instigator" at the studio and at home. She can be found working on all kinds of things to make others feel loved or appreciated.

Currently I am sitting and watching them at a dance workshop 70 miles north of our home. We got up early on a Saturday to drive up so they can dance all day with choreographers from High School Musical and other great performances. All in the name of self improvement for the dancer.

Yo, me holding the  l'il lady bug, aka NanaK's angel

That's a little slice of Heaven right there folks.

Over and out for now!

And you didn't even ask for it

So many recent changes have kept me so busy that I haven't had much time for blogging or even reading facebook. I barely get enough sleep and some days I feel like all I do is work. Oh yeah, because that's about all I have been doing.

Getting ready to come home from the hospital

So the week after my adorable, beautiful, precious, simply lovely granddaughter was born I was invited back to a 2nd interview at the local community mental health agency. I had a job offer from DCFS (Division of Child and Family Services) as a caseworker for foster care and in home services, that they kindly allowed me to wait until the end of the week to accept or decline. They knew the other agency was looking at me strongly. They both would have been great offices to work for. I know the people at both and find them pretty great peeps to work with. The benefits of the mental health agency are that I would be doing therapy, get paid about 1000 bones a month more and there is a school loan repayment option.

I still get to work with both sets of staff because they share a building. I took the mental health agency option. It meant leaving the other place a week before I had planned. I have been working both jobs, the old one in the evening and the new all day. Every night last week I was gone until 9 at night. I'd come home and crash in bed, but my girls wanted time with mom, like they are used to. Like they should be having. So it would about 11 PM before I could get in bed and I'd be up between 6 and 6:30 AM.

I think I will sleep a lot this weekend and move my evening clients to Saturday. Just to see if working 6 days a week is easier than 5 super long days.  Some of the old clients are close to terminating and some refuse to be transferred. I am really invested in some of them as we have worked through a lot of their pain. I do love what I do. It is sometimes a difficult decision. Work or stay at home. I am fortunate that Mr Monkey Butt has been working nights so he has been home with our girls in the afternoons and they have only been alone (well Oldest is home with them, but he isn't a parent) for about 2 hours or less.

2 weeks old already

No trying to find the balance. I am not giving up my private practice. If clients have Medicaid they come see me in the daytime at the mental health agency. Others see me at the old office for insurance pay and I have a few clients that pay cash and see me at a third office that is my own billing, but with other play therapists. I just rent an office. I will be working to build that and get on insurance panels over time, but I am for sure staying at the current agency for the next 5 years while I build up my skills and make more connections.

So THAT is the big news on this home front. It was tough to leave the private contracting, but I need more regular income. It was actually money and benefits that made the decision to go with the mental health agency and it was harder than I thought to not work for DCFS. I know a lot of great people that work there. Of course I also some that are not so great. It comes with any company/agency.

Phew! That's a lot.

So what's new with you?

This Is A Neglected Blog

As it turns out, when I sit down to the computer my brain goes blank. When I am driving I write witty blogs about the drivers and how I want to change the process for getting a driver's license and take away the licenses of those texters driving 10 miles below the speed limit, and slowing down my travel. Then I get home and can't remember any of it by the time I get to the computer. So many distractions I guess.

The girls are gearing up for the upcoming dance competitions. I am looking forward to the one during Spring Break and am planning on maximizing the family time by scheduling a short vacay during that time as well.

Monkey Wrench has a full-time job with benefits now. He has been working odd jobs while he patiently waited for a job offer that will help him support his wife and growing baby.

I have purchased a portable play pen in absolutely fabulous condition for just $40. This is for Nana's home. I also have a high chair, even though she won't be using it for about a 9 more months. Little Lady Bug will be pampered at this Nana's home. "My motto is Nana's my name and Spoilings my game!"

Sassy is working hard in school and is anxiously awaiting the time that the school will permit her to be concurrently enrolled in college and high school. They say it can't happen until she's a junior or senior. That may kill her to wait that long. She is ready to move on to her career education. Guess we'll see what she is able to get them to allow her to do.

Tree Monkey is holding her own in Jr High. First semester down and she has a fabulous GPA and some good times to remember. I can't wait to NOT be the PTA President. I have never wanted that job and have wished that I had said "NO" to the call.

I am a fully licensed clinical social worker. My current task is to get on insurance panels and that is a tough task to accomplish. They, the insurance companies, make it so vague and difficult to do. Some panels have been closed for 20 years.

I have registered my own business with the state and have set up all the articles of incorporation, bank account, and printed business cards. Now to get on the panels and set up office. I am still working out of my current company (and for the past 2 years) as a private contractor. As long as I can keep busy I'm good to stay there. They just pay my company and I pay me.

I set up a website for my husbands company. I am not linking to it here for privacy reasons. He does his own advertising by word of mouth and those really interested in seeing can email me for the url.

Our last foster son moved out on January 5th. It has been a nice adjustment. I come home from work and get to spend quality time running my daughters around, working on my home office stuff, visiting my mom, or just sitting and relaxing. It is SUCH A NICE CHANGE!!!

I know that we needed to do foster care. I also know that we don't need to anymore. I don't think I will go back to it. I'll just follow any spiritual prompting in that regard. Right now we don't need to.

It's been a busy January and with taxes coming up it's going to get busier for a couple of months.

Sassy may be hosting some posts here. I asked her to, so we'll see if she can think of stuff better than I can.

I'll leave you with some wedding pictures that I finally got. . . (photographer is pregnant and her little guy has a heart problem, and they traveled for the holidays a lot, so getting pics took longer than expected.)

The pics are the digital scrapbook pages I made.

And this one of our little granddaughter growing so big inside her momma!

24 weeks

Dear Blog

I am not ignoring you. I am having immense fun with digital scrap booking and playing with baby J. I spend a lot of evenings after work at his home just holding him and taking pictures of him- in fact I have 45 pages of scrap booking done and he's only a week old! Yes some of them are of baby showers celebrating his impending arrival and of the nursery and of his mommy's tummy, but most of them are of the beautiful baby that is blessing our lives and bringing us great joy.

I will get back to you soon. There isn't much to report right now. I am as busy as heck. The kids are having a vacation. Sassy is doing dance two days a week for at least 2 hours on those days, Tree Monkey is playing and trying to get out of chores, Foster son J is attending summer school and foster son K is working!!! That's right!!! He got a job after 2 days of walking around the town in a dress shirt, dress pants, and dress shoes and filing out applications. He also got 2 other interviews.

I must go now. I have a another baby shower to attend and a dinner to celebrate Grandma's 87th birthday. I will post more on that later as well as the diet I have been doing and how much better I feel. I've got to learn to stay away from all those carbs.

Toodle-oooo
Klin

Why we celebrate Mother's day

Today I've been deep in thought about the many women through out my life that did not give birth to me. Some I still call mom. They do not replace my mom. They add to me.

Teachers, church leaders, friend's moms, neighbors, women who volunteer at schools, nurses, office managers, etc. The list is literally endless.

Today in church our Bishop spoke and mentioned that some do not like mother's day. My guess is that this is due to sadness from not being a mother for whatever reason. This makes my heart sad. There is no way that this is true.

Giving birth isn't what makes us a mother. Nurturing a child does.

In my work I see the powerful effect of mothering in the lives of many. Not all of it is good. There is much pain caused by those who have given birth. It is my opinion that those women are not true mothers to the children that have been born of their womb. They demand that their children call them mother, yet they do not meet their needs, nurture, or teach their children that they are a mother. This conflict in the lives of many is causing such damage to our society. Where do we turn when the one who wants us to call them mom doesn't fit what we feel a mother should be?

(Let me add that I do understand the pain they are in. I also see these same women mother and nurture people that are not their children- like their friends. It's complicated.)

We turn to the other women in the world that fit that nurturing, caring, supportive, influential role. The women who did not birth us. The women who sacrifice time, resources, tears, and what ever else it takes to show us that we matter.

To any women out there who have loved another (child does not always equal under 18 years old), nurtured another, prayed for or shed tears with/for/over another YOU ARE A MOTHER!

Today is the day that you are honored and celebrated for mothering and loving a child of God. Of any age.
As mentioned in this post - It takes a mother to raise a village and with out you all there wouldn't be healing.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to ALL women.

Ever wonder what a day at work looks like for me?

WARNING!!! POST CONTAINS SARCASM. . . please don't interpret this as me being calloused. I really do see the cry for help. I just need some humor for coping skills some days.

In my job I file petitions of ungovernability that bring kids under court jurisdiction to get treatment. It is the least invasive way to help children and allows them to stay in their home with their families. Most kids have many delinquent behaviors that are causing them and their families much trouble. All of my cases come to me through a multi agency staffing. We call this MAS. I attend MAS every Tuesday and I'm not even Catholic ha ha ha ha. Sometimes I crack myself up.

(This is all the background you get. Sorry)

These sayings posted here were in my head may or may not have actually come out of my mouth.

I show up for court and the kid comes in with his parents. I start to introduce myself and he informs me up front that he doesn't have a problem and doesn't need or want my help.

Me: Well alrighty then, Ill just let the judge know that I made a mistake and we'll see if he will dismiss the petition. Appreciate your honesty.

Kid: I want an attorney. Can I have an attorney?

Me: Yes. You have the right to an attorney and if your parents qualify you may qualify for a public defender. Are you planning to deny the accusations that I have listed here?

Kid: What are they?

Me: Running away, threatening your dad and then attacking him, holding a knife to your own throat, overdosing on your psychotropic meds and then lying about it, hostility to authority figures, and on and on.

Kid: No, but I want an attorney because I think the punishment should fit the crime and coming into your porgram is unfair and over the top.

Me: Entering treatment where you get groups to teach you agression replacement tactics and get individual and family therapy is to strict for threatening and attacking people?

Kid: Yes. No one is going to control me, but me.

Me: That is true and you've done a fine job of that yourself. I agree with you. The punishment should fit the crime. I will let the judge know that you want that and I will let him decide what is fair.

Kid: My parents abuse me by making me take medication for bipolar disorder.

Me: You think that might be to keep them safe and to keep you from beating up on your brother and sister?

Kid: No. I want to be emancipated.

Me: Can you take care of yourself?

Kid: Yes. I have two condos in Hawaii and 7 kids. (He's 15)

Me: I see. I think your parents have you on the wrong medication.

Kid: I told you. I don't need medication.

Me: You need a medication for delusions and hallucinations.

He shut up.

Mom and dad snickered.

He told his mom to go eff herself. She didn't know what to say. My reply was, "Well, I'm not really into masturbation, although I realize that some people are. I just don't like the whole thing of have sex with yourself." Mom and dad laughed and took notes. Kid did not find any humor in my words.

Come on. give a little. That was funny, kid.

He was ordered into the pr0gram and after court I orient them to the program.

Me: Do I have a commitment from you that you will follow through with the requirements?

Kid: I don't have a choice.

Me: You have all the choice. You simply do not get to choose your consequences.

Kid: You choose the consequences by the choice you make.

Me: You and I are going to get a long just fine.

Kid: No we aren't.

Me: Ok. We won't.

I begin to go over the specifics of the program.

Kid: I am not going to do that.

Me: Ok. You don't have to.

Kid: You won't make me?

Me: Nope. I will file and order to show cause though and you can tell your judge why you didn't follow his orders.

Kid: Whatever. I don't care.

(Kid is holding his head in hands and crying.)

The same kid that glared at me before court wouldn't look at the judge and then wouldn't look at me following court because I was right.

Gotta admit- from his point of view that really does suck.

And after court-

**Today while Monkey Wrench was supposed to be watching Wiggly Worm he took a work bench table apart. Wiggly Worm did that. He got into Monkey Wrench's tools to find the right tools for the job.

Monkey Wrench is all bent out of shape. I am laughing my butt off. Not just because of this post, but because Monkey Wrench gets in to hubs tools all the time. He rarely puts them back. He loses them. Hubs finally locked them up - about time, too.

He insisted he was watching Wiggly Worm.

Really? At some point you weren't because he took the table/work bench apart. That takes some time.

Monkey Wrench had him put it back together. Hubs will let him take it apart again because it's been out in the weather and is not very stable now. Monkey Wrench is not thrilled that we find humor in the fact that Wiggly Worm took a table apart and that frustrated him. Why son? because he didn't play in the dirt like you wanted him to? Because he is just like you were at age 4-14? Because he got into YOUR tools? Or is it because you got busted not watching the little dude like you were asked to and now you look bad?

Can't blame it on the little dude.

Anyone else see the humor and irony in this?

***(Note: Wiggly Worm is almost 8 (in August), but he was badly neglected in his first 4 1/2 years and is the size and development of a 4 year old.)

Hard Work Ends in Beauty (Part 2)

We managed to get 2nd row seats. We could see our girls very well.

We are not Stadium of Fire attendees normally. We are the parents who will go to such events and pay the outrageous prices to support our children. As I write this post I am still in my PJ's and it's 8 PM on Saturday. I did not get up until 1:30 PM. That is the price I pay when I spend the long hours I did being there to help my girls and all the other girls be safe and stay hydrated. I ended up taking 2 pain killers last night just to sleep. I would do it again in heart beat. I just hate feeling the way I do right now. Wish I knew how to get rid of it.

Here is another little really long montage of the night. Again, recording was a no no. So they do not really exist. I hope that you can forgive my poor video taping. It was hard to watch the girls through the small screen, so I was watching them and at times didn't realize that the camera was looking at other things; like the guy's head in front of me or his wife's.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

And here is the firework show, just for you all.
They gave us some glasses and I held them over the lens of the camera at times to record the cool look it gave.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I hope you had a very happy 4th of July!!

I sure did!

Hard Work Ends in Beauty (Part 1)

Beginning at 6:30 AM Thursday morning we were at the Lavell Edwards Stadium.

The girls practiced and practiced and practiced some more. We mom's fed them cut up fruit, and other small bite foods. We kept them hydrated.

We got a lunch break at 11"45 AM and then had to be back by 1:15 PM.

That was the worst time to practice!
It reached 115 degrees inside the stadium. Hard as we tried we couldn't keep the girls hydrated. We had 5 who began to get heat exhaustion. They ended up at the first aid station. They were told not to practice after dinner but to come watch and then practice the next morning. Mini-Me was one of them. She, like her momma, doesn't do well with extended periods of direct sunlight and high temperatures.

She recovered well and was able to dance the next morning and perform Friday night.

Here's a little video of the practice parts. Anything that was video taped was not allowed and does not exist.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

To be continued . . .

What I've Done

**Name the artist**

So Last Thursday I left you all with a post telling you I was going somewhere. Well I went to Idaho to a Play Therapy training conference. It was fabuloso!! two other therapists that I work with also came and I stayed in a room with a friend I met in grad school. It was a blast. I came away with some really great ideas and 12 credit hours closer to my RPT (Registered Play Therapist). It is the highest credential you can earn when working with children and youth. I only have a few more to go to achieve my hours. Then I just complete the supervision part.

Then I slept all day Sunday to recuperate. I hate having health problems, but C'est La Vie.

Monday til Yesterday I was working, trying to get some things in place from the conference and when I wasn't working I was "Lost in Love" (artist?) with this . . . . .



I have figured out the whole Edward vs. Jacob thing, for me any way. But that's another post ;)

I'll be back!

Home and work, work and home . . .

The boys at work are on the mend. I have taken some time for me to recover. Yes, sometimes my work comes into my home. I don't usually bring it home, per say, it usually just drops in by way of phone call or text.

These particular young men have done some deep hard work in therapy. There is a big investment here. They are so used to those close to them abandoning them whenever they mess up, that it is crucial for those of us working with them now to teach them that they are of worth. That they can succeed by making good choices. This is not easy. The youth I work with have been hit, yelled at for being a normal child, told they are stupid, called worthless, and on and on. All of them have some kind of trauma that we work through. They are all good kids who make bad choices. They have many examples in their life to teach them the best way to make poor choices.

They are very strong youth. They have survived some horrific childhoods to their own drug use. Some do not have family there for them. We become their family in our transitional living center. So when one of my young men need me, I go. fortunately, it doesn't happen like that weekend very often.

I do take time to do things for me. Like read blogs; get my nails done, receive a fabulous massage, hang out with the big man in my life (aka the Mr.), and go shopping with my daughters.

So far work has stayed at work this last week. Yay.

Since you are dying to know. . .

I've been working all week and last weekend dealing with the aftermath of our "cops and robbers stakeout" fiasco. The only naughty stuff going on what with the boys I work with.

Most of you regular readers know that I am a therapist at a substance abuse center for adolescents. Wow that was a mouthful. Last weekend I received notification that 2 of my good boys that make poor choices (I really do not believe in "bad" kids) decided to take off and "kick it." Well, turns out that they had an adult (making a bad choice) get them alcohol. They relapsed and because they were not where they were supposed to be, well cops and robbers stakeout.

I cannot give more details. Sorry. But I will tell you that I did not get home until 3 AM. I did NOT sleep that night. I did get up early and since I had two scheduled appointments on Saturday, I drove under the influence of Red Bull. Had you all going, huh?

Now don't give me the lecture. There are times when it is imperative that your eyes are open and your brain has some help. Like when you are driving. Red Bull everyday is bad. I know that. I also have an extreme phobia to being an addict. So bad that after surgery, I'll take the pain before I'll pop pills for more than a week.

I have watched too many loved ones lives destroyed by addiction. No thanks. I'll pass. Besides, I'm a control freak and I want to be in control of my life and decision, not some substance.

The good news is that relapsing while in a program affords more resources than outside of one. My boys are doing better and are learning what went wrong. I'm just grateful that I get to keep working with them. They are really great kids, with not really great parents or childhoods, and they have a lot to offer when they kick their addiction and gain better coping skills.

We cried together a lot this week. We have worked through some pretty deep stuff. I have witnessed their pain and progress and I am hopeful for recovery. The very fact that they are still alive after all that has happened speaks volumes about their strength. Getting them to believe that they are of worth is the hard part.

I'm going to bed now. It has been a looooooooooooooong week. I finally got caught up on reading all your blogs. Sorry if I didn't post something. My wit and brain have gone bye, bye for the weekend.

Now go hug your kids. They need it.